My Thoughts

It’s been a long time coming but I think I have finally opened my eyes to some things and now I have a better understanding of how I ended up in the place I was rejected from & how grateful I am for this revelation because it catapults me into my destiny!!! : )

It has really never been clearer for me. “You cannot expect to soar with Eagles if you are pecking away with chickens.” - Joel Osteen I admit I had sone chickens in my life. Some folks who suffered from LVS (Limited Vision Syndrome) and even folks who didn’t uplift, inspire, or motivate me in any way but would withdraw from my love bank and never make a single deposit. I have something to tell you. You that’s reading this, or whoever. I AM AN EAGLE!!!!! I want to see ALL that this beautiful life has to offer and live without boundary or judgment & with eternal peace! : ) And So It Is! I am not going to send u a formal letter of dismissal but perhaps I’ll see you soaring up here one day. If not, God Bless and take care! ;)

This has been an Interesting week and this weekend is going to be pretty busy but fun. I am looking forward tongue coming 2 weeks because I have some “guest stars” making appearances in the movie of my life! My homegirl is visiting from NY this next week so that will be a really good time! She has never been to LA so she is super excited!

Well, I gotta get to this gym and get my day started but I just felt like I needed to get some things off my chest and be obedient in my sharing!

May happiness, joy, & love surround you as you experience your day!

Peace & Love : )

The following post is a series of several things that raced through myind on the past few days and up through today, so far.

This guy is a selfish singer because he is so on his own voice (although he has a nice voice) um we don’t know this song cuz YOU WROTE it but u singing it so scattered and under that we can’t understand the words coming out ur mouth. Just a thought.

Grateful for these McDonalds fries!!!! I am grateful for everything that was afforded to me today that I took for granted including each and every breathe. I am grateful for the screening I went to today! I am grateful for my audition and that Gabbie’s feeling better! I’m grateful that my girl is coming to visit this month and that we will get a lot of great work done! I am grateful for my REAL friends and my family! I’m grateful for knowing my purpose or at least seriously believing I might be closer than I’ve ever been!!! I’m grateful for this good sleep I’m about to get!!

Goodnight!

While sitting here waiting for this meeting to start, I realized how totally boring this song is that is playing until the chorus comes in. That would automatically be a thumbs down vote for a single! If I was A&R.

Some folks say I’m too positive and optimistic and although I am generally very upbeat and believe in the MORE that we are all allowed. Today was the last day I give more of Erica than u give me. I’ve said it time and time again, I have got to learn to stop treating those that treat me as an option as my priority. So, since I don’t want to effect anyone elses’ mood or day, with my run on sentences, and occasional indecisiveness, I will simply write it. Someday, I will have someone in my life that will want to know what’s going on with Erica. I will not share so much with others and simply do what feels good to me! I am no longer going to care about how this or that person might feel cuz it is SUPER clear no one ever considers MY feelings.

That’s all the time and attention I’m am giving to that negativity & hurt I feel.

I’m excited and TRULY hoping for a healing soothing word tonight at church. We are beginning this 12 week developmental program and Lord knows I need some structure and more understanding as I go through this particular point in my life!

I am happy to be here and grateful for all of the AMAZING opportunities I have had since arriving to California! Things have been working out for the best and although I have felt alone through most of it, i wouldn’t trade the lessons I’ve learned from basic human interaction for anything in this world. Some have been painful lessons some even still are sore spots now. However, I made it through them which shows how strong I am and that they are in the past, so I don’t have to go through them again.

This is MY life and I’m gonna live it the way I want to and even if that means I have to sever some pointless/toxic/non growing relationships, I REALLY like ME so I will be fine. ;) I have taken myself to dinner. Taken myself shopping, even to concerts, movies, and studio/city tours, spa days etc. with ME and although it would be nice to have a companion from time to time. I’d rather go solo than with a leach or selfish person. I guess that’s it! I need to be more “SELF centered and stop worrying much about how other’s feel. Aha!!!

See, this is one of those things that I know I am saying only out of hurt. Sunday PT talked about finding your anointing. He said that anointing is different than your gifts. I believe one component of my anointing is how I genuinely care about others and try to just be there whenever u need me. But the one thing about that is……… Who am I suppose to hold some level of expectant reciprocity in care giving to?? I’m draining myself and guess what no one is there to replenish my needs. So I end up feeling hurt, but still gotta be there for u?!?! Seems so unfair to me.

Anyway,
I’m grateful for great parking spots all day! I’m grateful for getting my wardrobe picked out for yet another headshots session! This will be the last one before folks don’t even need to Serbs headshots and they just start writing roles for me specifically!

I need a vacation!!!

That’s all for now.

Peace & Love :)